The Space Between My Neurodiversity and My Romantic Orientation

This post was written for the January 2022 Carnival of Aros, where the theme is “In-Between Spaces.” I talk a lot about neurodiversity and queer stuff on this blog, but something I haven’t had the opportunity to talk about yet is just how interconnected those aspects of my identity are. For me, being autistic actually …

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Plotting My Queer Identity on the Convergence-Divergence Spectrum

This post was written for the January 2022 Carnival of Aces, where the theme is “Divergence vs. Convergence.” This month’s prompt got me thinking again about my queer identity—not just my romantic and sexual orientation, but how they relate to the very queer way I go about relationships. Coyote’s concept of a divergent-convergent spectrum for understanding …

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Confessions of a Former “SAM Aro”

This post was written for the September 2021 Carnival of Aros, where the theme is “Language.” In the aspec communities I’m originally from (mostly Reddit) and in the vast majority of the educational material I read when first discovering aspec identities, the “split-attraction model” (SAM) is the predominant conceptualization scheme for explaining aspec identities, and …

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Being an Ambassador to the Queer Hive Mind

This post was written for the September 2021 Carnival of Aces, where the theme is “The ‘We’ of Me.” In minority communities, we tend to use language like, “the asexual community” or “the trans community” to refer to the set of people in a particular identity group. And while my queer and neurodivergent identities do …

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Amatonormativity and the Future I Never Really Wanted

This post was written for the August 2021 Carnival of Aros, where the theme is “Well-being and Amatonormativity.” People in aspec communities talk a lot about the day-to-day challenges amatonormativity imposes on their lives. For this month's carnival, I want to talk a bit about how amatonormativity harmed me before I realized I'm aro and …

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The Layer Cake of My Identity

This post was written for the May 2021 Carnival of Aces, where the theme is "Words and Conceptualizations." My bio on this blog currently labels me as "an asexual, aromantic, autistic, non-binary person." While this isn't inaccurate, it's more of a context-sensitive approximation of my identity than a comprehensive examination of it. The truth is …

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The Language of Asexuality Before AVEN

The asexual community as we know it today is quite young; while the broader LGBTQ rights movement is usually traced back to the Stonewall Riots of 1969, the modern asexual community evolved much later. The founding of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) in 2001 was an important milestone in the asexual movement; the …

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