Confessions of a Former "SAM Aro"

I used to use the split-attraction model to conceptualize my romantic and orientation. Here's why I don't anymore, why the SAM never really made sense for me in the first place, and where I think the SAM fails a lot of aro folks.

Being an Ambassador to the Queer Hive Mind

When I talk about my identity to someone outside one of my communities, I'm implicitly nominating myself as an ambassador to that community. What are my responsibilities when representing the communities I'm a part of? What about when some people in that community disagree with me?

Accommodating My Disability Is Not "Giving Up"

I've noticed a pattern in a lot of the "supportive" messaging I recieve from neurotypical people as an autistic person. It's genuinely well-intentioned, but also deeply ableist. They think autism is an obstacle to be overcome, not who I am.

The Language of Asexuality Before AVEN

It's hard to understate how pivotal the Asexual Visibility and Education Network was in shaping the modern asexual community, including much of the language aces use to describe their identity. But what about before AVEN? What did it mean to be asexual? This essay is my attempt at tracing the history of the usage of the term "asexual."

Spoons are Expensive

Being disabled is expensive, but not just because of the state of the US healthcare system. Often money can buy spoons, but all too often the financial decisions made by disabled people who are trying to budget their spoons are condemned by non-disabled people as irresponsible.

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