Plotting My Queer Identity on the Convergence-Divergence Spectrum

This post was written for the January 2022 Carnival of Aces, where the theme is “Divergence vs. Convergence.” This month’s prompt got me thinking again about my queer identity—not just my romantic and sexual orientation, but how they relate to the very queer way I go about relationships. Coyote’s concept of a divergent-convergent spectrum for understanding …

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The Amatanormativity in Romance-Coded Language

Much of the language we use to talk about relationships is steeped in amatanormativity. Even the term "relationship" is often assumed to be short for "romantic relationship," when many aspec people prefer to use the term "relationship" in its more broad sense. In particular, the language we use to talk about partnerships tends to assume …

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What is Relationship Anarchy?

Traditionally, we categorize our relationships with labels, usually either as romantic or platonic. These labels are prescriptive; they determine the boundaries and expectations of the relationship, and not the other way around. Relationships anarchy is a descriptive approach to relationships; labels are chosen to suit what each person wants out of the relationships or, more …

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